ATTACK OF THE SQUASH PEOPLE
by Marge Piercy
And thus the people every year
in the valleys of humid July
did sacrifice themselves
to the long green phallic god
and eat and eat and eat.
They’re coming on, they’re on us,
the long striped gourds, the silky
babies, the hairy adolescents,
the lumpy vast adults
like the trunks of green elephants.
Recite fifty zucchini recipes!
Zucchini tempura. Creamed soup.
Saute with olive oil and cumin,
tomatoes, onion. Frittata.
Casserole of lamb. Baked
topped with cheese. Marinated,
stuffed, stewed, driven
through the heart like a stake.
Get tired of old friends. They too
have gardens and full trunks.
Look for newcomers, befriend them
in the post office, unload
on them and run. Stop tourists
in the street. Take truckloads
to Boston. Give to your Red Cross.
Beg on the highways. Please
take my zucchini, I have a crippled
mother at home with heartburn.
Sneak out before dawn, to drop
them in other people’s gardens,
in baby buggies at churchdoors.
Shot, smuggling zucchini into
mailboxes, a federal offense.
With a suave reptilian glitter
you bask among your raspy
fronds sudden and huge as
alligators. You give and give
too much, like summer days
limp with heat, thunderstorms
bursting their bags on our heads,
as we salt and freeze and pickle
for the too little to come.
‘Tis the season of the Great Zucchini Caper. Beware the Overzealous Gardener. She wears a supernova smile. Is generous to a fault. And favors the drop-and-run.
Did you know there’s a holiday for the zany zucchini? It’s called Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night. The brainchild of Tom Roy, it’s American-Idolish tomfoolery.
Back seats. Back porches. Or any out-of-the-way place that has a sign posted will do.
Need to ward off stray dogs while you jog? Speak softly and carry a big zucchini. Got puffy eyes? Zucchini is the new cucumber. Think like Martha ~ spray them gold and arrange those glamazons into a festive wreath (no image available, yet). Last resort ~ get a paper route. :)
I have a love/hate relationship with this particular summer squash. With zucchini, as with most things, it’s the dose that makes the poison. So when life hands me too many zucchini, I go to Pinterest.
Pinterest connects everyone on the planet through whatever they find interesting. It’s a platform of inspiration and sharing, the hot social networking darling of the world. It’s visual and addictive. And full of ideas for your summer surplus.
The ideas, like the squashes themselves, run riot. Grilled, fried, breaded, baked, sweet, savory, raw, sliced, diced, stuffed, hot, cold, pickled, marinated. In a breakfast omelet, luncheon salad, hot or cold soup, sandwich, brownies and breads.
Here’s a slap-up and savory little salad. Zucchini, tomato and pesto is totally dinner.
Grate the zucchini.
Add julienned sun-dried tomatoes.
Mix in some pesto.
Drizzle with olive oil. Sprinkle with a lovely aged balsamic.
Got a recipe for that gone-rampant plenitudinous veggie?
Quick! Share it here. It’s August 8 ~ oh, and leave the porch light on.